Whiskey Wishes
by kawaiialchemist
Summary: Hiei and Botan have been forced to live together for years. So together they stay but separate they remain. How will one drunken night change all that? Rating may change, possible lemon.
1. Woops

**I just love the idea of Hiei x Botan. I did some writing in my earlier days and gave up for a long while. However watching some old dvd's has brought back my inspiration. I appreciate constructive criticism, not plain rudeness. I apologize for a particularly short and jumpy chapter, but I want to set the plot before I lose the idea. My apologies if you think anyone is ooc here, but keep in mind they are both very intoxicated :p. Please review, it's the only way I know what people think.**

It had been his second winter actually living in the human world where all of the spirit detectives eventually decided to settle. It was an easier life, not that Hiei preferred easy. However, as much as he hated to admit, or even think about it, he did like to be around the people he had ended up spending so many years with. It did lack excitement, blood more so. Hiei sat against the window sill watching the snow come down heavily for what seemed like the millionth and threateningly annoying time this year. Hiei spent many mornings here, staring and thinking.

"HIEEEEEEIIIIII" A loud, piercing, irritated voice called out, interrupting his thinking. It always seemed to happen this way. A moments peace was far from a real thing in this house. He slumped his head into the glass and growled slightly, refusing to answer her. She would come find him, she always did. If only he hadn't drawn that stick.

It had been the only way they could all agree to live together. After many days bickering about their living arrangements the crew decided to split up their neighborhood homes into groups of two via the drawing of straws. This little game ended up with Kuwabara and Yusuke living together, how fitting. Eventually paired Kurama with Yukina, which Hiei approved of, as long as it wasn't Kuwabara. However he was beginning to think they had a romantic relationship which angered him deeply. Hiei was the last to draw so by default he was left with Botan.

Botan tried so heavily, so annoyingly to be a good roommate to Hiei but Hiei hated every moment of it. Hiei was a horrible roommate, not by normal humans standards. He bathed, cleaned up his mess, and kept up after things, but he wasn't Botan's idea of perfection. He was never social, or even vocal. He just sat in that corner for hours by himself, even when Botan tried to get him to do something. He ignored her, all the time which angered her the most. Botan found herself at her wits end trying to connect with the roommate she was forced to have, perhaps for quite a long time.

"Hiei!" she stated once more, reaching out to touch his shoulder. She was quickly met by Hiei's hand holding her wrist threateningly tight "Why must you always touch me" he snorted.

"Oh relax. Listen, everyone will be here soon" Botan stated as she swiped her hand back from him and continued putting in her earrings. Hiei sighed as he turned to face her. She was throwing one of those stupid party things again. He gazed up to her. She was wearing a purple dress, if that was enough material to call a dress. The back almost didn't exist, it was a crocheted pattern that adorned about half of her bare back. The doorbell rang, almost as if on cue of Botan's voice as she rushed to answer it. Hiei rose from the window sill and walked down the hallway to their bar and poured himself a large glass of whiskey, after tonight he would need it.

Several hours later, only after pushing a drunken Yusuke and Kuwabara out the door with Kurama, who of course remained sober, did Botan finally sigh of relief and remove those heels. Her face was flushed and warm, even removing the shoes proved a little difficult. "Botan you fool, you're drunk" she said to herself giggling wildly.

Hiei raised an eyebrow at her, watching from the doorway. He wasn't even sure she was aware that he was watching her. Hiei had many glasses of whiskey that night, in fact it was way too many glasses. Although he wasn't visibly intoxicated as horribly as Botan, he would like to think he was pretty drunk.

Botan rose to walk to her room, tripping on her coffee table. She filled the room with more giggles as Hiei sighed and walked towards her. He offered his hand "Come. You idiot. You're drunk."

"I'm not drunk Hiei my goodness no!" Botan giggled as she laid herself across the table swiping the contents onto the floor. " I just need to rest a minute, it's a little spinny in here"

Hiei rolled his eyes and huffed "If you want to sleep on the table like the lush you are fine by me." he stated as he turned to walk away. However, before his movement was complete Botan took his outreached hand and pulled him clumsily on top of her on the coffee table. Hiei as much as he didn't want to admit it, was too drunk to catch himself.

"You should rest too! You're,...you're" she started laughing once more "You're so drunk! You fell!"

Hiei pushed himself up onto his elbows "You're drunk! You pulled me!" he said heavily irritated.

"Hiei you know what?" Botan said resting her hand on his shoulders.

Hiei had to pause before he could stand, the room was spinning far too fast. He had no choice but to humor her "What..."

"I think you secretly like me. You looked at me in my dress tonight,...You like me"

"Ha. I think you're delusional" Hiei said as he finally gathered the balance to start to rise from her. She latched onto his white scarf and pulled him back down closer now to her face. Hiei grew angry with just how drunk he let himself get. He was so easily physically manipulated for lack of balance.

"Look into my eyes right now and tell me you don't want me" Botan spat back at him, returning his angry gaze.

Hiei's eyes shot open. He somehow managed to keep his jaw closed. Dear god was she ever drunk. So was he really. He paused to give her question thought. Did he want to? He pictured the thought momentarily. Emotionless, drunken sex with Botan? He was so drunk he didn't put much more thought into it.

"I don't fuck just anyone. Especially someone as drunk as you" Hiei scoffed trying to sober himself up just from repeating his words to himself. He was growing tired of fighting her off.

Botan removed his scarf tossing it across the room, and playfully revealed her shoulders from her own dress. "You can't tell me after living with me you never thought about it".

Hiei growled loudly, too loudly. His frustration was beginning to show through his fake sober facade. She was trying so hard, not that she really had to. Hiei gazed at her deeply for once taking in her features. She really did have an amazing body. However, Hiei only wanted her for what she was to him, a piece of meat.

"Botan..." Hiei growled as Botan closed the gap between them with her lips Hiei felt her tongue delve into his mouth. It was then that Hiei decided he had given up. Hiei pulled away from her "You remember this tomorrow. You remember you asked for it" he warned huskily while panting.

"Please" she panted.

Hiei reached underneath her and used his powerful grasp to flip her onto her stomach and pulled her into his waist via her hips. "Last chance." he stated harshly

Botan had no second thoughts, she had no words. She was drunk and way too drunkenly aroused to think.

Hiei ripped her dress upwards, out of the way smirking. Something was so thrilling to him about the thought of taking her on their coffee table right in front of those glass windows he gazed into only this morning.

**Authors note: Lemon? No lemon? Are some things better left unsaid? Review or none for you. **


	2. A mutual agreement

Crimson eyes awoke to pink sheets around his naked waist. He raised an eyebrow and looked around the room, decorated with oars of all colors. "Fuck,..." he whispered as he sat up slowly and began to tune in to the sound of retching in the next room. Hiei began to scour for his boxers but they were nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly Botan emerged groaning from the bathroom holding her head, completely naked. She rubbed her eyes and opened them slowly seeing Hiei in her bed "EEEEKKK" she shouted as she attempted to cover herself with her hands "What are you doing in here!? You pervert!" she shouted searching for something to throw in his direction.

"I was invited,...to more places than this" Hiei sneered as his lips began to curve into a smirk "Remember?"

"Oh good lord I was so drunk! You took advantage of me!" she shouted as she finally found a robe to cover herself with.

"Hn. Sober enough to beg." Hiei said as he wrapped her sheet around his waist and raised to exit the room.

"Ugh your disgusting!" she said, her nose scrunching in disgust.

Hiei exited without another word as Botan tried to remember the events that took place last night. She began to remember begging Hiei for it. Ugh wine always turned her into such a promiscuous drunk. She sunk onto the bed and decided to shower to erase the previous nights sins.

It was only when she disrobed that she discovered the numerous bruises around her inner thighs and finger marks on her hips "Jesus" she whispered to herself as she began to shower.

Hiei walked into the living room gazing upon the coffee table. The magazines were spewed across the room and the table was a good few feet from where it's original place was. He opted out of cleaning it up so he could show Botan. This wasn't his fault. After all he was drunk too.

"Did we do it last night or did you beat me up?" Botan said as she crossed her arms firmly. She was wearing athletic shorts that she felt allowed Hiei to see the damage.

"You're a big girl. You can handle it." Hiei said as he gestured with eyes to the table.

"Oh I remember give it a break already!" she said exasperatedly. "You know you're supposed to be gentle when you make love to somebody."

"I don't love you" Hiei spat as he threw out the magazines.

It almost stung a little. Hiei seemed to so easily throw those words out the door. Sure, she didn't love Hiei either but, that was just so harsh. To tell the truth she wasn't sure what she felt for Hiei now. Sure she was a little iffy when she was drunk but she wouldn't just sleep with a random stranger. She had to have some kind of repressed feelings for him. Her face turned into a visible frown to which Hiei scoffed. "It was a one night stand, we won't let it happen again." Hiei said in an effort to get this over with.

"You,...don't want to do it again...?" Botan posed the question to him.

Hiei turned to gaze in her direction, eyes filled with suspicion. He remembered Yusuke speaking of it once. A person that you slept with but had no real relationship with,...a friend with benefits he called it. "Why are you asking me this stupid" Hiei growled annoyed that she was toying with him.

"Well,..I mean I think we both liked it. My legs are still numb...maybe it will help me get to know you better."

"A friend with benefits" Hiei stated, making sure they were on the same page.

"Yeah,...I guess I mean I was thinking more like a relationship." Botan said "You know like-"

"I know what a relationship is Botan. I don't want one. I don't want to date you. I'm not a fool like you all seem to be. I don't want love, it doesn't exist. You can find that elsewhere." Hiei sneered as he began to walk away.

"WAIT!,...okay a friendship with benefits then,..." Botan whispered under her breath, ashamed to be compromising to such a thing. She really didn't understand why she was. It felt as if she would do anything to get to know Hiei better. She wanted to be someone, well the only one to know Hiei on a different level.

"That's all it is,..understand? I'm not going to baby you or love you or cherish you" Hiei stated bleakly.

"Uh,...well I mean I guess..." Botan said, his harsh words stinging softly.

"We'll tell nobody" Hiei stated

"Are you ashamed of me?" she stated accusingly.

"I don't think you'd want to shout it from the roof tops anyway" Hiei said pausing "Do what you wish but then I will as well." he warned.

"Fine" Botan said as Hiei began to walk out the door

"Well where are you going" she asked

"It's really none of your business." Hiei said as he flitted away.

"Ughhhhh!" Botan growled under her breath as she went to go get ready for the day.

* * *

It wasn't until late at night while Botan was watching TV alone that she finally saw Hiei again. He sat in the chair across the room. Uncomfortable silence began between them for over ten minutes before Botan finally cleared her throat. "So uhm,...so how does this work?"

Hiei rolled his eyes "We have sex when its appropriate."

"You don't seem like the type to care if the time is appropriate or not." Botan said.

"I mean whenever it's mutually agreed upon. I'm not going to rape you." Hiei began to think this wasn't going to work. They were both just drunk. Botan is way too soft for this.

"Okay,...I'm ready." she stated.

"No drink?" he laughed.

"No drink." she stated as she got up from the couch and began the trek to the bedroom.

* * *

After a few hours Botan lay underneath Hiei's panting gaze. "Is this what it was like yesterday" she gasped.

"I suppose. A little more relaxed because we were drunk." Hiei said as he gathered his clothes to leave.

"You don't,...you don't have to go. You can sleep in my bed." Botan offered.

"Botan. We aren't dating." he stated pulling on his boxers.

"Oh be quiet! You don't have to be dating to offer you a warm place to sleep instead of that stupid window sill you feel the need to use. It's called kindness and I know you don't have any but I do!" she shouted.

Hiei was shocked. She never stood up to him. It was rare enough that she even gave him a disapproving glare or an exchange of rude words. Well, except for the last few days. He liked it. He laid upon the opposite side and said nothing.


	3. Can I take 3 pills in one day?

Hiei awoke to the ferry girls blue hair thrown across his naked chest. Her body, naked as well was lain across him. At first he rolled his eyes, this was not part of the rules. Botan just wanted to use this friendship with benefits to suck him into a real relationship. Botan thought he had no clue, but he knew. He felt naive for even allowing such a trap to begin. All he had to do was continue to turn her down and set firmer boundaries he thought. Unfortunately he couldn't bring himself to wake her and raise a fuss. Although he would never admit it aloud it was very comfortable to have another body against his, soft and warm. Even thinking such a thing made him cringe internally. Maybe this part of the broken rules could stay. What harm was it to sleep inside.

Botan began to slowly stir underneath him. Her once soft pillow now felt hard. It was then that she realized her hand was across a soft yet scarred body. She burst upwards "Oh dear I'm so sorry" she shouted, frowning "I know this isn't part of the game,..well the uhm the thing...I don't know".

"I don't care Botan" Hiei said doing his best to avoid her sorrowful glance. Since she was no longer on top of him he decided it was time to leave.

"What did you just call me" Botan asked pulling the sheets around her frame to shield herself from the cool morning air.

"Botan? That's your name isn't it." Hiei mocked.

"Well yes but,...you never call me that". Botan was perplexed and amazed. Was her plan working? Was the fire demon falling for her?

"Do you prefer stupid?" he said with a raising voice, obviously irritated she noticed, let alone called him out on it.

"No,...but I-"

"Then silence stupid" he insisted as he walked out of the room

* * *

The weeks passed by as their strange relationship continued to blossom. Slowly he began to spend every night in her room, whether they had sex or not. Hiei still spent the majority of the nights making fun of her but Botan grew to understand the humor behind it and often found herself laughing before shouting. Hiei usually remained in bed until she was awake, but was quick to jet out and usually remained out all day. Botan attributed it to an inability to connect.

The crackle of lightning and crashing of thunder was heard outside. The rain was coming down in sheets and Hiei was nowhere to be found. Botan began to find herself overwhelmed thinking of where he could be. She walked into the bathroom and began to wash her face and hunker down for the night. She cold water splashed her face with relief from the heat that had started to gather from what she thought was worry about Hiei. The more she thought about it, the worse she felt. The bile began to rise in her throat, she harshly swallowed it back. However, she lost the battle as she was forced into vomiting into their bathroom sink. Wow,...had she really just worried herself sick about him?

The door slammed against the wall behind it with a loud bang as Hiei walked into the house sopping wet from his hair to his toes.

"Oh Hiei,...I was beginning to wonder if you were alright" Botan whispered wiping her face trying to hide what had just happened. It seemed to work, mostly because Hiei just didn't care.

"I was training" Hiei said as she started stripping himself of his clothes leaving them soaking in the hallway. He gathered a towel and began to dry his hair.

"In the rain?" Botan asked.

"Mhm" he stated stepping into the shower and turning it on scalding.

Botan slid the glass door open and slipped in behind him. She wrapped her arms around his chest and laid her head on his back "I'm glad your back" she whispered. Hiei turned to face her, he didn't know what to say to her. He felt the urge to slam her against the wall of the shower but she just looked so damn vulnerable and scared, all because he was out in the rain. Botan leaned into him to kiss his lips, and for once Hiei didn't hesitate or scowl. He just kissed her, no tongue trying to make his way into her pants, no ulterior motives, just a kiss.

The shower shut off and Botan yawned heavily "I'm so tired" she said pulling on pajamas as Hiei threw her over his shoulder and walked towards the bedroom.

"Put me down you jerk!" Botan insisted as she was thrown onto the bed. Hiei approached her scantly dressed frame biting his way up her body.

"Ugh not right now Hiei" she said pushing his face away. "I was so worried earlier". This got her a pretty shocked face. Botan hadn't refused Hiei even once since this little game had started. "I was so worried that I-" she paused. Should she even tell him? He's just going to laugh at her. "that I-,...made myself really tired" said shrugging her shoulders. "I'm going to get a glass of water and I'll come back to bed okay?"

"Hn" Hiei said making himself comfortable.

Botan padded into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water gazing out the window at the pouring rain. Her eyes began a last glance around the room as her eyes stopped upon the calendar. The 30th she thought to herself. Hm. Botan's eyes grew wide as she spit out her water and began to cough and gag heavily.

"You can't breathe and drink at the same time" Hiei taunted from the other room.

Botan didn't answer. She frantically threw her hands on top of the fridge and grasped the tiny blue package. She ripped it open and counted quietly to herself "One,...two,...three" she gasped. It was the end of the month how did she have three left? Had she really gotten so caught up in this stupid fling that she completely had forgotten three whole doses. "Oh Kami,..."


	4. That little pink plus sign is so unholy

Spews of thoughts began through Botan's mind. It was only 3 doses. She could fix this right? She would just take them all. Is that safe? What if she was already pregnant? No no, she couldn't be pregnant. She felt great! Except for the vomiting earlier,...and the tiredness. "Damnit!" she said to herself throwing the last of the pills into her mouth. She turned off the lights and headed into the bedroom where Hiei's red eyes glowed in the darkness. "Did you die in there stupid?" he barked.

"No but I'm gonna" she mumbled climbing under the covers.

"What?"

"Nothing. Nothing" Botan said cuddling into him very slowly and hesitantly "Can you not refuse this. Just for tonight. I've got a lot on my mind. I just want some comfort"

"You wouldn't get it from me" Hiei sneered.

"I get more from you than you think. Please just don't be rude okay. Please" Botan pleaded.

"What's your problem" Hiei asked with less of a harsh tone, actually beginning to become curious about the situation.

"Goodnight Hiei" she whispered, burying herself into his chest

* * *

It was already ten in the morning. Botan was always up by 8. He didn't understand why she was still sleeping but it was beginning to get annoying. He shook her gently at first, progressing with force as she refused to awake "Botan!"

"Eughhhh,...Hiei please not now I'm very tired." she pleaded holding onto him tighter.

"It's already ten" he stated to show his annoyance.

"Oh it's barely after 6" she yawned as the bright red numbers of the alarm clock were shoved into her face. "O-,..oh okay"

Hiei got up and headed to the kitchen leaving her to think again. Botan shrugged it off . They were up late last night. That was it! She headed into the kitchen to get something to drink. The familiar aroma of tea leaves filled her nostrils, seeing Hiei pour himself some. The smell seemed to penetrate her to the core. Oh it was so vile. The smell alone was making her so nauseous it was incredible.

"Stupid!" Hiei said snapping his fingers in her face

"WHAT" Botan demanded snapping back into reality.

"You've been staring into space for 5 minutes." Hiei said sipping his tea.

Oh the tea was on his breath now. Not to mention the closer he came to her to talk the stronger the smell prevailed. She was so nauseous she couldn't move.

"Botan!" Hiei called out again to no avail. He stuck his finger tips into his tea cup and splashed her face with the warm liquid.

Oh that was it. It was over. Botan didn't even manage to throw her head into the sink before emptying the contents of her stomach. She was hunched over on the kitchen floor sobbing as she puked onto it.

Hiei jumped backwards "Shit! Botan gross"

"I'm sorry I just I don't-" Botan said before a dry heaving battle began. The sweat came down in beads across her forehead and her complexion paled.

Hiei threw a wet towel at her, covering her face "Clean yourself up" he ordered as Botan wiped off her mouth falling back onto her butt on the cold tile floor panting.

Hiei reached down and picked her up delicately and as motionless as possible "Are you going to do that again?"

Botan shook her head no weakly as she felt herself being placed on the couch. "I'm sorry I just don't feel very well. I think I have the flu" she lied through her teeth.

"Well I don't want it" Hiei said crossing his arms across his chest.

"Can I please have some water?" Botan asked.

"Yeah" Hiei said very plainly as he walked out to the kitchen.

Botan poured herself across the coffee table to get to the phone before Hiei returned. She punched in digits and listened to the ring on the other side "Shizuru? Yes it's Botan. Please come over. No not now, in maybe an hour. Yes it's very important. Thank you. Goodbye" she said as she quickly placed it back on the receiver.

Hiei placed the water on the table "I'll train close"

"What?" Botan said obliviously.

"I'll train close" he repeated trying to remain calm.

"Uhm,...alright?" Botan questioned not sure why he was telling her. He never told her where he was going.

"I mean I'll be close if you need me!" Hiei shouted at her. She was so dense sometimes. He shouldn't even offer any type of assistance to such a stupid creature.

At first Botan recoiled from the shouting but the realization slowly came that Hiei was extending help to her. This was really shocking and so unlike Hiei. "Oh,...thank you Hiei" she whispered.

* * *

Hiei nodded silently as he exited the room. She never left his mind as his steps progressed down the streets. She seemed so sick. Botan was never sick, not once the entire time he has known her. It was so strange.

"Shizuru,...I think...I think" Botan stammered.

Shizuru laid her chin in her palm, cigarette hanging from her mouth as she waited for Botan to spit it out. She had been listening to her stammer for over fifteen minutes now. Pressuring her would do no good, clearly she was panicked.

"I think I might be,...pregnant" she finally managed to say.

"To who? You don't even have a boyfriend" Shizuru said. She was slightly shocked at the thought. Botan was the last person she ever expected to have a pregnancy scare. Surely it would've been her first.

"I don't have a boyfriend,...no. It's a uhm,...it's a game...?" Botan answered, slightly questioning herself. She must sound like such a harlot.

"Like a fuck buddy?" Shizuru posed, her cigarette falling from her mouth with shock.

"Well uhm,..well...well... Yes okay! Goodness I know I'm despicable. I'm so ashamed. I just,...I really like him...I thought maybe I could get him to love me if it started out this way. Now he'll call everything off for sure." Tears began to well in Botan's eyes. It hadn't even crossed her mind how she would tell Hiei.

"Who's the guy?" Shizuru asked.

Botan thought a long while before answering, pausing so long it seemed like she would never answer. "Its,...it's Hiei"

Shizuru's cigarette fell from her mouth again "No way! You had sex with-"

"SHHHHH QUIET! I'm not supposed to say anything!" Botan said waving her hands back and forth.

"Are you sure that your pregnant?" Shizuru asked.

"No! I just realized last night I missed 3 doses and now I don't feel well...you put things together!" Botan sighed.

"Well that could be the flu!? You could be fine. I'll just go buy you some tests. It's probably nothing." Shizuru said patting her on the back before grabbing her coat "I'll be back okay?"

"Okay,..." Botan really wanted to be optimistic. She really wanted to not be pregnant. Please god if she ever asked for anything, ever. It would definitely be this.

"Start chugging water. You're gonna be doing a lot of peeing" Shizuru said laughingly before she left the house.

* * *

"Why did you get so many?" Botan asked looking at the 9 boxes before her.

"In case you get a false positive ya know. If even one of these is wrong you might not be pregnant!" she said as she began ripping them open. "Okay princess start peein on them and then we lay them on the counter and wait. Shizuru slammed the door shut behind her.

Why was aiming on this little stick so hard? She almost didn't have to go anymore. But finally she managed to get the last stick. She placed them evenly across the counter by the bathroom sink. Botan solemnly opened the door "I'm done,..."

"Alright we'll set the timer and we'll wait. You're not even supposed to look before times up." Shizuru said dragging her into the living room to see Hiei walking through it.

"UH HIEI,...what uhm what are you doing here so early?" Botan asked severely startled.

"I was sparring with Kurama" Hiei said holding up his forearm with a mild cut around it. "It's none of your business." he said heading towards the bathroom to clean it out.

"YOU CANT GO IN THERE!" Botan screamed towards him. Oh yeah way to go Botan that wasn't suspicious at all.

"Why?" Hiei asked not pausing in his steps.

Botan ran in front of the door, blocking it with her whole body. "BECAUSE,...BECAUSE,...Because I threw up all over the place in there. Oh god it's a horrible mess isn't it Shizuru?"

"Oh it's fucking gross" Shizuru said lighting her new cigarette.

Hiei raised an eyebrow towards her "The kitchen was too. I don't care. Move"

Something to deter Hiei. Something to deter Hiei she repeated over and over again in her head. "OH and I got my period in there too. Ugh just blood and vomit and mess. Oh it's gross. Shizuru isn't it so gross?"

"Oh it's fucking gross" Shizuru repeated inhaling on her cigarette trying not to snicker.

Hiei rolled his eyes "Stupid females" he muttered as he walked back outside, shaking his head the whole way.

"Your period?" Shizuru repeated as she began laughing into hysteria.

"Yes well let's just hope for it." Botan said as the timer's shrill cry pulled her out of her embarrassed haze.

Botan nearly fell over herself running into the bathroom. She stared into the tests laid across the counter and tears began to stream down her face.

"Well?" Shizuru said as she walked into the bathroom peering over Botan's shoulders.

"Oh Botan,...it's gonna be okay" she said as she put her hand on her shoulder.

In front of them lay the most positive pregnancy tests Shizuru had ever seen. Not even one of them could be confused for a negative. All 9, almost mocking her with bright pink plus signs.


	5. Could you brush your teeth first?

"Even a stranger could tell Hiei doesn't want children" Botan said to Shizuru retrieving another Kleenex from the box she held. Beneath her lay a whole box plus more soaked with tears. She had been in the same position on the couch bawling for over 45 minutes now.

"Well yeah." Shizuru said putting out her cigarette in the ash tray. The house wreaked of smoke now. Botan didn't know how she could just have one right after the other, after the other. "It's time the fire demon grew up though. He can't always get what he wants and he can't always be the selfish bastard he is now."

"I guess" Botan sobbed

"Are you going to keep it? Shizuru asked, afraid to even breech the subject.

"Of course I am! I cant,..no I wont end an innocent life because I'm too selfish to care for it." Botan sighed.

"Look, his reaction and his thoughts aside. None of that can even come until you figure out a way to tell him." Shizuru said reaching into her coat pocket for her pack of cigarettes.

"Oh I always dreamed of having a child with someone who so desperately wanted one. Telling them by watching baby movies and making foods that start with baby" Botan daydreamed.

"So do that then" she said flicking her lighter.

"With Hiei? Yeah right." Botan huffed.

"Well it might distract him enough to the point where he won't kill you" Shizuru said laughing, slowly quieting down until she realized Botan didn't quite find it to be that funny.

"You might as well live out your little fantasy. He's not going to be happy any way you tell him." Shizuru said.

"I need time to think" Botan said walking to the pregnancy tests and putting them in a small bag. "I could gift wrap all 9 of them!" she said giggling nervously.

"Happy we fucked up day. Here's some sticks I pissed on?" Shizuru said blowing smoke into the apartment.

"Oh be quiet" Botan said as the rain began outside again. "I have a while to tell him. I don't have to do it tonight.

Shizuru stood "Well you should probably decide that little detail. I'm sure he'll be coming inside soon" she said giving a small wave. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Shizuru,...please don't tell the gang yet." Botan pleaded.

"Sure" she said as she left the apartment, about to close the door when she passed Hiei entering the apartment.

Hiei squeezed out his cloak at the door and hung it to dry on the coat rack by the door "Have you stopped puking all over everything?" he asked as he walked past Botan.

"Euhm,,...uh" Botan mumbled as she shoved the bag of pregnancy tests into a cupboard of the dining room. "I feel a little better"

"Good. The house was beginning to smell putrid" Hiei said. Botan's ears began to ring as she heard the tell tail whistle of that damned tea pot.

"Are you making tea?" Botan asked, afraid of the answer.

"Yeah. Kurama said you should drink some" Hiei said entering the room with the two small coffee cups. The steam from the tea drifted across the room, filling it with that horrid aroma.

"Uh,...you know I really don't feel like tea right now." Botan said backing away from him. She would do anything at this point to get away from the smell.

Hiei sipped his own, placing hers harshly onto the counter. "Kurama's orders" he barked.

"Uh,,.oh uhm but I really prefer sugar in my tea. I just emptied the sugar bowl yesterday. Shucks." Botan said snapping her fingers in fake disappointment.

"Your acting stupid." Hiei said as he approached her, backing her into a wall of the dining room. Oh lord was he ever close now. The tea lingered on his breath and seemed to drench every word he spoke. Her stomach lurched with every movement his mouth made.

"No,..." Botan said.

"Why are you backing away from me? Turning me away. Sick at the mere sight of me?" Hiei spoke.

"Uh,..-well its not...I"

"Prove it." Hiei said crossing his arms firmly in front of his chest.

Botan scurried to the side to escape from him "I can't even think right now" Botan whimpered walking into their bedroom. Hiei followed her with his cup. Great. She laid onto her side of the bed. "Lay down" Botan almost commanded Hiei.

"Why are you demanding so much physical contact?" Hiei said refusing to lay for her.

"Hiei please,...I really can't do this right now." Botan begged of him shoving her face into the pillow.

"You will talk to me right now! You stupid ferry girl. All you do is bitch that I won't join in some foolish relationship with you, but when I attempt a conversation about your well being you withdraw" Hiei shouted at her.

"Everything isn't always about you, ya know!?" Botan shrieked as she sat up in bed, tears coming down in steady streams upon her delicate face. "I don't feel well and you are shouting at me. Forgive me for just wanting to get some sleep and regain some of my sanity. I promise I will tell you. I really will Hiei. But,...I need some time okay?"

"Are you dying?" Hiei seemed to ask so easily, so emotionally unattached.

"No,..." Botan strained to get out without growing more angry.

"Hn. I'll wait." Hiei said sitting on the side of the bed. "I can make you feel better." he began to smirk.

This was the last thing on Botan's mind. Although it had been almost a week,...if not more. The idea of any type of movement made her nauseous. Especially the thought of that tea ridden mouth anywhere near her. However, who was to say they would ever be together in that way again. As soon as she told him he would surely leave her. Who is she to refuse him? One last time,...to remember the happiness the awkward situation had brought them. "Will you brush your teeth first?" Botan asked. "Oh and wash your hands please"

Hiei stood slowly. That was the strangest request he had ever heard. His hands were clean,..and he had brushed his teeth already today. He should've told her to suck it up but at this point another bout of crying would damper his chances.

**Authors note: Lemon? No lemon? Review and let me know your thoughts. I promise she will reveal her secret next chapter as well!**


	6. I'm pregnant x9

Hiei climbed over Botan's frame gently planting small bites along the nape of her neck. The toothpaste just covered up the smell of tea leaves. The underlying tea leaf smell was still detectable. Botan exhaled deeply and fully, attempting to fight off the nausea.

Hiei grasped his hands around her waist pulling her closer to him. The sudden jerk was even more nauseating. Botan pushed him over, which Hiei mistakenly took for play. She sat up "Hiei,,..." she whimpered.

"Hn?" He asked staring up at her, angry she was still clothed.

"I really need to stop" Botan said holding him down. "I know I agreed to do this tonight but,...I really really feel ill"

"Why are you holding me down?" Hiei asked quietly, void of any emotion, genuinely curious of the reasoning.

"If you move I'll throw up." She said remaining still "I need a minute for my stomach to settle."

"Do you think I'll take advantage of you?" Hiei questioned, now even quieter than before.

"No,..." Botan said covering her mouth and nose to avoid any of the tea's scent to allow the nausea to worsen.

"I wouldn't,..." Hiei said

"Thank you" she whispered slowly climbing off of him.

"You need to see Kurama" Hiei said sitting up on the side of the bed.

"I'll see a doctor soon. I promise. Right now,...I need to pay the bathroom a long visit." Botan said covering her mouth again, gagging on the way to the bathroom. Loud retching and vomiting was heard from the few rooms away.

As strange as it was. He almost felt sympathy for her, almost. Hiei poured her a glass of water and got her a cool washcloth, placing it on the back of her neck as she vomited.

"Hiei,...can we talk" Botan muffled from her face still in the toilet.

Hiei leaned against the shower wall, waiting patiently.

"Hiei,..." Botan said rising from the floor. She trudged into the dining room, grabbing the bag that contained the pregnancy tests. Guiltily and slowly she walked back into the room. "Its,...its my fault. I know it's my fault, but before I go any further...can I ask for patience, and inside voices? Botan pleaded.

Hiei tried to peer at what was behind her back. "Hn,..."

"I" Botan started,...pausing for a full three minutes before starting again "I,...I was enjoying the fling that we had. It felt so exciting, so fulfilling to be wanted for once. It's really all I ever wanted in life. I know it's not what you want,...to be wanted that is. But,...it was just so amazing that I guess I became distracted,...careless in my nature." Botan said, her hands shaking as she lifted the bag to her chest. She opened it and from within the bag, grasped a single test in her hand.

Hiei waited, quietly almost seemingly respectfully for her to finish. She was so shaken,...he couldn't imagine what she was going to reveal. She must have someone's head in that bag. That or someone's dead body.

She pulled the test from the bag and handed it slowly to him as the hyperventilating began "I,...I...I'm sorry"

Hiei took it from her gently, eying it up. He turned it upside down, sideways, front ways. It made no sense to him. He had no idea what this foreign object was. "What is this?" he asked shaking it.

"Its a pregnancy test" Botan said, crying for what seemed like the millionth time that day. "'I'm pregnant"

Hiei gazed up from the test slowly, eerily "Are you positive?"

Botan sniffled reaching into the bag, grabbing them all in her fist. "I'm pregnant" she placed the second test into his lap. "I'm pregnant" she said placing a third. "I'm pregnant", a fourth. "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant" she said allowing the rest to fall into his lap.

Hiei took the time to quietly examine each and every test, ensuring they looked the same, as if she hadn't already done it. He was so deathly silent. Botan had never been so afraid.

"Well,..."

"I thought you were on the pill" Hiei stood, unevenness in his tone. However, he didn't raise his voice.

"I missed 3 doses" Botan said, her eyes glued to the floor. She was ashamed to admit she did such a thing. She was a grown woman after all.

"Is that why your ill?" Hiei asked.

"It's called morning sickness" Botan said, rubbing the length of her arm.

"I'm sure you've already decided to keep it" Hiei said avoiding eye contact with her.

"Yeah,..."

"What about what I think?" Hiei asked

"Well,...what...what do you think"

"I think your a damn fool for allowing this to happen." Hiei said throwing the tests into the trash. "I think I should've known better than to get involved with someone like you who wants so much more than what she already has. You're a romantic sap and you thought that seducing me would get me to propose to you and marry you and have this,...this,...this kid! Did you do this on purpose?"

"No,..." Botan said whimpering as she cried. Those words were like ice to her soul. She imagined Hiei would be mad, throw stuff, storm out, maybe even leave forever but she hadn't expected this type of accusation.

"Are you telling the truth" Hiei asked, staring into her eyes.

"Hiei I am telling you the truth. I wouldn't plan this on purpose. I know what terrible parents we would be. I know how much you hate children. I know how much you don't want a child. I can't even remember to take my pills. How would I remember to do everything a child required from me. We're just so hopeless, separated or together. I know now two wrongs will never make a right"

The air between them grew tense and thick as more time went by without anybody saying anything. "So,...what should we do" Botan finally broke the air with the question.

"I want to tear that child from inside you. I want to rip it to shreds. I want nothing more than to end this putrid excuse for an existence." Hiei growled.

Botan covered her mouth in both shock and disgust "HIEI! I cannot believe you would,...well I can...YOU'RE TERRIBLE."

"I want to. But I won't." Hiei said walking into the living room, staring into the window where this all began.

"Why won't you,..." Botan questioned. It was so hard not to be angry, to be rash. If any other normal person had said those words to their pregnant acquaintance they would have had them arrested. Hiei was different. It was enough of an amazement that he informed her he wouldn't do it.

"I need to be away from you" Hiei said putting his cloak back over his body.

"F-forever?" Botan asked

Hiei turned to look at her face. It was so pale, so spent. His mouth didn't even twitch, his cold red eyes spoke everything that needed to be said. He released his death glare upon her and exited the door in one swift movement. He shut the door passively and quietly.

Botan crumbled onto the floor sobbing again. I guess at least he was patient, and he didn't really shout at her. It is what she asked of him. She didn't ask him to leave though. The hormonal bouts of crying were beginning to make her feel like the fool Hiei made her out to be. Hiei would return in time, she thought,...she hoped.

Hopelessly defeated she drug herself up to the couch and laid across it, exhausted. She spent the entire night on that couch, jumping at every small creak the wind caused or crack of the old house. The morning came slowly and painfully, but still no Hiei. She felt so awful. She hadn't eaten all day yesterday and had thrown up everything she tried, even water. The sleepless night didn't help much either. She knew she had to eat something, if not for her than for the child. Botan stood from the couch en route to the kitchen. She had stood too fast, her knees felt as if they would buckle from underneath her. Her mind felt clouded and confused. She fell into the door frame, breathing heavily. The light headed haze began to form around her until the image she once saw turned into a blur. That blur turned black as she felt herself smack off the table that started it all. The pain erupted within her just before her consciousness was lost.


	7. Desire vs acceptance

"Hiei,...hiei stop" Botan gasped attempting to scurry away from him. That was the fourth time he had pinned her down.

"I won't stop. This ridiculousness needs to end" Hiei said holding a knife to her stomach

"I'll do anything! Please I'll do anything. Please don't kill my baby, please,..." Botan pleaded. She was barely able to breath. Hiei had her held by the throat to prevent further movement. "It's your baby too,...don't kill your baby" she breathed out huskily

"I've made up my mind" Hiei said pressing the knife to her skin, the blood began to drip as her skin tore beneath it.

* * *

Botan screamed so loud it burned her throat, it hurt her stomach. Her lungs felt like they could take no more, but still she kept on.

"BOTAN! BOTAN!" Hiei said attempting to shout over her, it was no use. Damn that woman had lungs. This was something he was already well aware of. Hiei walked over to her and began to shake her gently. "STOP" he said again

Botan finally silenced long enough to jump back from Hiei "DON'T TOUCH ME. DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME" she screamed crawling away from him in the bed. "YOUR A HEARTLESS BABY KILLER" she shouted crawling back to far, falling off the bed completely.

"Botan you were dreaming! Stop it! You have a head injury, you really mustn't move like this" a softer voice said as the fox known as Kurama entered the room.

"I was,...I was dreaming?" Botan panted.

"After you smashed your head off the coffee table" Hiei interjected as he placed her gently back into the bed.

"I,..what?" Botan asked.

"Hiei found you on the floor Botan. You really hit your head on the coffee table, you split your head open. You have a concussion." Kurama did his best to tell her calmly and reasonably. "He called me here Botan. You'll be okay.."

"I,...I don't even remember falling. I don't remember anything" Botan whispered, touching the bandages wound around her head.

"You're very malnourished Botan. I believe you're suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum. It's a more severe form of morning sickness." Kurama said placing his hand on hers gently. "Do you understand?"

"I,..I think so" Botan nodded.

"Do you understand what you're in for Botan?" Kurama bit his lip. She had a right to know but,...he definitely didn't want to scare her.

"I don't understand" Botan said looking over to Hiei. His eyes were glued to the floor. She wasn't sure if he was angry or if he had already heard this talk before.

"Hiei is a much stronger demon than you. His powers compared to yours are almost immeasurable. Creating a child of his descent is going to be very,..." Kurama paused, searching for the right word "Difficult"

"You know about the baby? You know about Hiei?" Botan questioned, slightly peeved. "I didn't tell you to tell anybody." she barked facing Hiei.

"Don't tell the doctor who is treating you while your unconscious on the floor?" Hiei growled "You told Shizuru. It's my child too and I will tell whoever I choose to tell" Hiei said remaining in his chair, looking oh so uncomfortable.

"You will need to be very careful from now on. You will be very, very tired" Kurama warned. "I am giving you a list of very bland, high in carbohydrates foods that should allow you to keep them down and gain some nutritional value."

"Anything else" Botan mumbled

"Change that bandage once a day, and be very careful. Don't forget you have a concussion. I'll be back to check in periodically." Kurama said rising, leaving the two "love birds" to their business.

"Why'd you come back?" Botan asked, grudge present in her voice.

"You didn't want me to?" Hiei barked.

"For once why don't you just answer me instead of beating around the bushes. Why don't you stop being such an overpowering asshole who just wants to look like a strong demon. You got me pregnant okay? I'm not some demon you're facing in a battle. You don't have to keep trying to intimidate me and look oh so powerful." Botan said laying her head upon the pillow. Her head was pounding. She was anxious to see what the wound looked like because right now it felt ten feet deep.

"I said I needed to be away from you. I never said forever. I-"

"You didn't say anything when I asked if you meant forever!" Botan interrupted.

"Shut up and let me finish you stupid fool!" Hiei shouted to which Botan whimpered from the headache. Hiei's facial features seemed to soften. "I never said forever." he repeated.

"Do you want this baby?" Botan asked, just wanting the bottom line.

"Neither of us wanted it. You said it yourself. Do I want it? No. Will I accept it" Hiei paused for a few seconds "Yes"

"Will you stay with me?" Botan felt relieved to know he would accept the baby. She could live with that even if the answer to her next question was no.

"I will continue to sate your needs" Hiei said solemnly.

Botan was disappointed. After all of this, he still just wanted to be friends with benefits. She should be happy he agreed with anything, but she was baring his child. She thought she should have at least gotten some bonus points. She frowned lightly "Okay,..."

Hiei snatched the list Kurama had given Botan from her "Meanwhile I won't have you killing it because you can't stop that disgusting vomiting" he said reading over the list "Tea is on here. You like tea" he stated.

"Oh I do like tea but,...the smell has been making me so nauseous lately. It's why I kept throwing up every time you came around. Why I was avoiding you."

"Why didn't you say something?" Hiei asked

"You didn't know I was pregnant" Botan said twiddling her thumbs.

"Even if you weren't pregnant. If it made you sick I wouldn't drink it" Hiei said walking away towards the kitchen.

Botan pulled the blankets over her frame. He wouldn't drink it? Did Hiei really just say that? It must have been that concussion talking. It certainly made her sleepy enough she could even be delirious. Her eyes began to shut slowly as she drifted back off to sleep. It felt as if she was only asleep for 5 minutes when Hiei was shaking her again. "Damn it I'm tired" Botan whined. "Stop"

"I'm aware you're tired. I let you sleep for two hours. Kurama said you needed to wake to eat." Hiei said setting something down beside her bed that Botan was only vaguely aware of. Botan's stomach had been growling all day, she did feel so extremely hungry that it was beginning to hurt but somehow sleep still sounded more appealing.

"Sit up." Hiei said snapping her back into a semi conscious reality. Botan finally gathered the strength to begin to grant his request. She peered at the table beside her "Ughhh I don't wanna eat that. That's not even food"

Hiei looked at what he had brought back for her, chicken broth and applesauce. Sure it wasn't fit for a king, but it was the only thing that they had at the house that was on Kurama's list of approved foods. "It's food" he argued.

"Barely. I'm starving. Chicken broth doesn't exactly stick to your ribs." she said crossing her arms.

"Do you want to vomit again? Go out there and do whatever you want. Don't expect me to baby you when you get sick" Hiei said exiting the room. God she frustrated him. He had never brought anyone anything. She should be flattered, but instead she was complaining.

Botan reached out and tipped the bowl of chicken broth to her mouth, gulping it down as fast as she could. When the bowl was empty she was still left feeling hungry and unfulfilled. God he frustrated her. She was starving, and you wouldn't see Hiei eating any of that crap, would you? Botan picked up the apple sauce, and soon that was gone as well. It disgusted her to even think about eating it. The grainy, mushy texture. Not to mention she hated the taste.

Botan rose slowly and carefully, as instructed, so she could go to the bathroom. As she washed her hands she eyed up the scale in the corner. She had no idea how pregnant she was, all she knew was it was over a month. She didn't feel bigger. Botan trudged over and stepped onto the scale covering her eyes. When she finally peered between two fingers she was horrified by the number below her. She hadn't gained any weight, she had actually lost 6 pounds. The one day of nauseous vomiting couldn't have caused that much weight loss. When Botan thought back to the days prior to her first true day of sickness, it all started to come back to her. Everything in those days made her turn her nose, nothing actually sounded good. Actually now that she thought about it, she had even had low grade nausea for those last few days. "I guess I didn't really eat much" Botan whispered to herself. The growling in her stomach continued, louder than ever. The broth and applesauce was more of a tease to her stomach than a relief.

Botan exited the bathroom and started going through the cupboards in the pantry. Pasta? Eh. Oatmeal? Definitely not. Potato chips? Salty deliciousness, hello baby! Botan almost grabbed them but sighed in disappointment realizing they really weren't the best thing for her right now. Dry cereal? Yeah that seemed okay. It was only cheerios. They were bland right? Yeah! It said right on the box they were an excellent first finger food for babies. Victorious in her find, Botan carried the box back to her bed and began to feed upon them while watching TV.

"What are you doing?" Hiei asked watching her stuff her fist into the box of cheerios. He had never seen her eat them dry like that before.

"Mnhmm nmph hmph" Botan said, mouth full of Cheerios.

Oh that was understandable. It was almost funny really, she looked like such a pig. "Don't overdo it." Hiei said staring her down, bewildered.

"Mnnmh m-mmm mmm" Botan said waving her hands as if to say me? Never. Hiei actually began to chuckle lightly "Swallow it stupid, then talk". Botan glared to him, sticking her tongue out at him under the mess of chewed cereal.

Hiei was appalled. He had seen Yusuke talk with his mouth full, play "sea food" with people. Botan doing it was just weird. Although it was pretty comical. He sat on the bed beside her. Botan took the opportunity to usher closer to him, laying her head in his chest.

Hiei gave her a skeptical glance. That was awfully bold of her. "Sorry" she said through cereal "Want some?" Botan said pouring some into his lap.

"Uh,.." Hiei said watching the cheerios fall into his lap, white crumbs polluting his jet black cloak. Botan didn't care. If he could be careless so could she. Why should she be tiptoe around him if he didn't' do the same for her.

This may just prove to be more interesting than Hiei originally thought

**Authors note: Thank you to all my reviewers! It really means a lot to me. **


	8. Peeping Hiei

Botan unraveled the bandages from around her head for the last time, gazing into the almost completely healed cut on the side of her head. Her concussion was gone and she was beginning to feel about as normal as she could feel. Her new normal was an overwhelming urge to nap on anything that could support her weight with a side of nausea. She felt mostly like a baby as Hiei didn't seem to understand, or even want to understand really.

"Is it healed?" Hiei asked from the other room.

"Yeah,...yeah it's okay." Botan said looking at her own reflection now in the mirror. She had small bags under her eyes, they were fairly permanent now. She looked paler than usual due to the constant feeling of unhealthiness. So much for that glow everyone talks about. Botan hadn't had many difficulties with her wardrobe since she owned so many different and wonderful kimonos. However, she had gotten to the point where she didn't even feel like dressing herself. She had taken into a new wardrobe of yoga pants and camisoles just because they fit and were so stretchy they were so much more comfortable than anything she could have imagined.

Hiei watched her walk into the kitchen and begin to make herself a plain egg. They had found a routine of a few foods that Botan was able to stomach enough to keep down. He knew she still felt horrible after eating and usually spent the next hour afterward with her head between her legs praying for mercy from the porcelain god. Whatever she did worked because the throwing up had become more rare. Hiei noticed her new love for exercise type clothing, and he wasn't complaining. Her ass looked amazing in those pants. However, he must admit she was being dramatic about her clothes not fitting. Botan couldn't have gained more than 5 pounds and definitely didn't look huge. He still found her attractive enough to try to go after her every night, to be of course turned down.

"That appointment is at 11" Botan announced, snapping Hiei out of his thoughts.

"So?" Hiei said drinking coffee. He wasn't exactly happy with the replacement for tea but it wasn't the worst thing.

"I mean I guess I was wondering if you were gonna come with me" Botan stated already well aware of the answer.

"Why would I want to do that?" Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Well because it's your baby,...because you're the father" Botan said. That reason sounded good enough for her.

"You will fill me in" Hiei said plainly. He was so unexcited about everything that involved their baby. He was supportive like Botan had asked of him but definitely not enthused.

"Alright" Botan said, the disappointment was clear in her voice but Hiei never seemed to care.

* * *

The appointment room seemed so cheerful. Posters of beautiful mothers holding perfect babies. Pamphlets everywhere about everything from baby blues to potty training. Botan could imagine it would be comforting and exciting for most expectant mothers to see but it just made her more nervous. She knew that she would never be like the picture. Hell look at her, she could barely stand normal day activities of walking around and running errands. As for all of the things that the office found difficult enough to make a pamphlet about, she knew she would be in it alone. She couldn't exactly picture Hiei singing a child to sleep or even changing a diaper. Ha especially not that.

"Botan" the nurse called.

"Huh? Uhm yes coming!" Botan said getting up. The nurse lead her to a room where she was weighed and measured. Botan was about right on her estimations, 6 pounds heavier. However, she had no idea what her original measurements were originally but it seemed bigger now. They took her blood pressure and lead her to an empty room to sit. The damn paper cover never seemed to stop crinkling even if she sat still.

"Hello Botan" a male doctor said as he walked into the room. Oh that was a little,...off putting.

"H,..hi" Botan said shaking his hand.

"First appointment hm? Pretty exciting stuff." he said reading over her measurements and other data the nurse had left for him.

"Sure is" Botan said, well aware her voice lacked excitement.

"Everything looks good here. Well let's just see how far along you are" the doctor said setting up the ultrasound machine. "When was the date of your last period?" he asked.

Botan was taken off guard by the question. She always was. Who honestly wrote that stuff down. Botan shrugged "I,..don't remember"

"Well how many months has it been?" the doctor asked.

"Uhh,...I uh,...I..." Botan stuttered. She was just so tired her mind wouldn't function like she was ordering it to.

"It's not a big deal" he said. "Roll up your shirt and lay back" he said as Botan followed his instructions. "Just a little gel, might be cold" he warned

A gray, cloudy image appeared on the screen. Botan was surprised, it looked way more like a baby than she was originally expecting. She could see a fluttering shape in the middle.

"Is that a heart?" Botan asked.

"Yes, yes it is" the doctor said, making no eye contact. "Well the baby is measuring at about 14 weeks" he said.

"Oh" Botan said not really paying attention. The sight on the screen was mesmerizing to her. That was her child, alive and well.

"Yes,...everything looks just fine" he said shutting off the machine, Botan frowned. He powered up another machine and stuck it onto her little stomach. All this poking and prodding was so annoying. Soon enough the room was filled with a cloudy, loud pounding.

"What's going on?" Botan asked gazing around for the source of the sound.

"That's your baby's heartbeat." he said "Nice and strong"

"It is,...?" she asked smiling for the first time at the appointment. "But wait,...what's the baby. Is it a boy or a girl."

"Oh heavens dear you can't tell that just yet. You'll have at least another month before that happens" he said handing her printed pictures.

"That's all we have for you miss. I expect to see you again in another month" he said leaving the room. Botan laid back on the bed, lost in thought.

Hiei peered through the window watching her. He had watched the whole appointment, seen his child, heard it's heartbeat. Although he would never admit it, he was pretty mystified himself. He looked in at Botan, who hadn't bothered to wipe the gel off yet, or even sit up. She was lain back on the bed,...crying. Hiei raised an eyebrow, peering closer. Why was she crying? It didn't look like a happy cry, but I guess he could be wrong.

Botan rubbed her eyes through tears, looking up at the clock. She knew she should get home. It had been well over two hours. Botan dried her eyes, and then the gel and exited the room, beginning the trip home.

* * *

Botan walked into her room and laid down, closing her eyes. She wanted nothing to do with anything that involved being awake.

Hiei marched quietly, standing in front of her frame on the bed "Well?" he asked as if he had never been spying on her.

"Go away." she whimpered, tears sliding down her cheeks.

Hiei took that as his invitation to sit down anyway. Botan planted her head in his lap sobbing. Hiei placed his hand on top of her head, running his fingers through her hair. Botan found this extremely relaxing.

"Hiei,...everyone in that office had their boyfriends and husbands and,...and families with them! They were all so happy to have children, so blessed even" Botan said drawing in a deep breath "Nobody cares about me at all."

Hiei was silent, listening to her unload.

"All the pictures of perfect little families, and pamphlets of parenting tips. I just hate it all! I know I'm going to do this all alone and I really can't stand it anymore"

"You're not alone" Hiei said under his breath, as if he didn't even intend for it to be heard.

"Oh please yes I am Hiei! You don't even care about me. You only care about sex. You don't want to help me feel better or be there for me or come to appointments. You just want to be completely unattached except by your dick!" Botan shouted.

"I don't want that" Hiei whispered, feeling very angry but beginning to feel very guilty as well.

"Then what do you want!?" Botan asked looking up into his eyes.

"You" he whispered. It almost hurt him a little bit to be so cliche and disgusting.

"No you don't" Botan objected "You don't treat people like this, people you say you want."

"Dammit Botan!" Hiei grunted getting up and allowing her head to fall down on the bed. "You're your own person. You don't need me to fall all over you. You don't need a sappy, love sick puppy!"

"How do you know what I need?" Botan barked back at him, putting the pillow over her face.

"Because I've seen the look of satisfaction across your face enough to recognize it. The people you see in those posters are humans, disgusting and vile humans." Hiei said frustratingly. "We're different"

"We?" Botan repeated.

"I gave you my word. I keep my word" Hiei said reaching over to the table to the ultrasound pictures. "I saw him take these pictures of you." he said holding them out to her "I'm not sure I'm fond of the fact that he's a male"

"...What?" Botan said as she began to sit up to look at him.

"I watched through the window" Hiei admitted, looking away from her.

"You did what...?"

"I wasn't sure you would actually arrive. It's the most you've moved in weeks" Hiei said

"Did,...did you hear it's heartbeat. It's so loud...so loud and strong" Botan smiled.

"Yes,..." Hiei nodded

"Isn't it amazing" Botan gushed, a smile beginning to grow across her face.

"Yes,...it is" Hiei admitted. Although he didn't hold anywhere near the amount of emotion Botan did, it wasn't any less amazing.

"I cant believe,...you went" Botan smiled. "I can't believe you cared enough to go"


	9. You have to stay awake, stay with me

Botan began to awaken underneath a hardened, chiseled chest. "Mmm?" she mumbled out before realizing her hands were entangled under Hiei's frame. Oh that's right, this is how she fell asleep last night. She had given in to Hiei's lusty demands for the first time in weeks and did not feel the energy to even slide off of him. Even now she wanted to go back to sleep. She laid her head back onto Hiei's chest, he was so warm.

Hiei felt the ferry girls blue hair slide across his chest, it tickled but felt wonderful to know she was there. He was going to force her off once he knew she was awake, but now it seemed she was going back to sleep. Hiei was always an early riser but,...he could probably lay in bed just this once.

"Hiei my head hurts" Botan yawned knowing he was awake now from how he gripped her tighter.

"Well the headboard does that sometimes" he yawned in response to her own.

"No,...I feel terrible" Botan grumbled sitting up rubbing her eyes. Her nose was running, her throat felt so dry and scratchy, and the warmth she originally thought she felt from Hiei was still overwhelmingly present even though she had sat up.

"You probably caught a cold. Doctors offices are full disgusting humans." Hiei sneered.

"I want medicine" Botan sniffled laying back down beside him this time instead of on top.

"Kurama said you really shouldn't be taking any" Hiei said moving closer to her.

"Ugh Hiei,...I'm too hot" she said scooting away from him.

Hiei held her still and scooted around her, placing his hand on her forehead. She felt very hot to him, especially considering she was almost always cold.

"Hiei! Stop" Botan protested, throwing herself into a hacking fit "I want some ice" she sniffled.

Hiei sighed and got up, sliding on his boxers and walked out into the living room only to see Yusuke and Kuwabara sitting on HIS couch watching HIS television.

"What the hell are you two doing in here!" Hiei yelled

Kuwabara was obviously startled "Relax idiot!"

Hiei padded closer "GET OUT!" he demanded.

Yusuke snickered at the way those two always bickered "Listen Hiei,...we came to see Botan. She around?"

Botan? Fuck. "She's,...sleeping" Hiei defended

"Oh,...well we haven't seen her in weeks and we were just wondering if she's okay? Its like she fell of the earth or something!" Yusuke said laying his head in his palm.

"Hey Hiei,..how come your not wearing any pants?" Kuwabara asked laughing hysterically.

"It's my house. That's why. You ignorant buffoon!" Hiei growled "Now both of you, leave!"

"We'll leave, we'll leave. Sheesh Hiei" Yusuke said rising to go.

"Hiei?" Botan called. Hiei could tell by the sound of her voice she had gotten out of bed and was walking closer. "Hiei who are you shouting at" Botan said as she started to come out of the doorway, until she realized just who was out there "EEEEPP" she said, perhaps a little too loudly. "Yusuke! Kuwabara! Uhm what a uhm what a lovely surprise!" she said from her room. She was scrambling to find anything that could hide her 20 week pregnant belly. At this point it was damn near impossible.

"Botan! Hey! Come out here!" Yusuke called.

"Oh Yusuke I really don't feel that well. I uh,..I really don't want to come out and get you sick as well." Botan said

"I'll just come to you!" Yusuke said as Botan ran into bed covering herself up with the blankets.

"How the hell are ya!" Yusuke said smiling.

"Oh uhm,..I uh I'm okay..." Botan said.

"Where'd Kuwabara go?" Yusuke asked turning around.

Hiei finally entered the room "I should have just thrown you both out. I have no idea where the fool went."

Kuwabara finally entered the room "Well I was just helping myself to a little refreshment" he said "Hope you don't mind."

Oh lord it was that awful aroma. The horrid tea leave aroma began to fill the room the closer Kuwabara got.

"You should leave" Hiei said looking to Botan who had covered her mouth and nose in an effort to block it out.

"Why we just got here!?" Kuwabara said downing some tea as he ran forward to hug Botan, tea still in hand.

"Kuwabara uh,...Kuwabara please don't" Botan said, but it was too late. The oafs arms were wrapped around her body. Tea cup to the left of her, tea breath to the right of her.

"Awe he missed you" Yusuke said "Geez Botan the least you could do is hug him back."

Hiei didn't know what to do. He asked them to leave several times already. Not to mention he knew if he got violent Botan would just gripe about how mean he was. He just had to do something to get Kuwabara to stop drinking that tea. The rest could be worked out in time.

"That tea is a poisonous" Hiei stated.

Kuwabara gazed down into it as he retracted from Botan's hug. Much to Hiei's horror he began to spit it out all over her. "Oh wow sorry Botan. I don't know why the little shit would keep poisonous tea in the house."

Botan started retching as she started to try to rise from the bed to vomit. The movements weren't coming, she felt so weak and sick nothing would work properly. Botan's feet only managed to get her about 5 feet away from them before her knees buckled and she fell to the floor, covering it in vomit.

"Oh that's disgusting" Kuwabara said covering his eyes.

"You need to-" Hiei started to say before Yusuke interrupted with "woh,...Botan..." he said noticing her rounded belly from beneath the camisole and jacket.

Botan didn't look up from the floor even after she was done vomiting "I really want to be alone right now" she whispered.

Hiei's chest began to hurt. Wow that was weird. Could it be he almost felt sympathy. He felt for her? His mind began to think to all the nights she forced him to remain awake shooting ideas at him of how to tell their friends. Hiei felt like she must have had thousands of ideas and although she was scared, he thought she was excited.

"Who's the father? When did this happen. Why didn't you tell us" Yusuke asked, seemingly more concerned than angry.

Kuwabara was in such awe he had no words. He just stared at her. "I didn't even know you had a boyfriend Botan."

Hiei took in a hissing breath, there was that word again. "Boyfriend". That word that always threw Botan over the edge. He cleared his throat, deciding immediately he wasn't going to make Botan go through this. "I am" he said folding his arms over his chest, which was still naked.

"Hahahahaha" Kuwabara cackled "That's a good one Hiei"

"Yeah Hiei" Yusuke said as he began to smirk "I don't think you have it in you."

"I am that child's father. It is none of your business. I'm not going to say it again. I am also not going to tell you two again, to get out!" Hiei said raising his voice as he began to shove the boys out the door. "I also don't think I need to tell you that If you don't keep your mouths shut about this before Botan gives you the okay I will kill you both." he said before slamming the door in their faces.

"Woh" the two boys said in unison before sharing a look of sheer confusion.

Hiei immediately turned heel back to the bedroom in a hurry. Botan was in the same spot that he had left her, crying into her palms and still surrounded by her own vomit.

"Botan,..." Hiei said quietly as he walked over and helped her pick herself up. He laid her back on the bed. She didn't speak to him. Hiei didn't think she could speak even if she wanted to. He allowed her to lay back on the bed and got a towel to clean up the vomit before the smell of it made her sick again. After the mess was cleaned up, much to Hiei's disgust, Botan was already asleep. Her tear stained face was red and raw.

Hiei laid a cool washcloth across her forehead and retrieved a lighter blanket, swapping it out for their heavier one. Botan didn't even flinch, which was highly unusual. She was a blanket hog if anyone ever knew one.

Hiei managed to fish out a thermometer in the bottom of an ignored bathroom drawer and stuffed it into her mouth and under her tongue. He sat beside her on the bed, which also didn't even stir her. The thermometers inner red center continued to climb and climb as time went on. When it finally seemed stable he pulled it out. Hiei cocked his head "102,...and maybe a half?" He was astounded. That can't be right. He shook it cool in the air and put it back into her mouth and started the waiting game again. Again it read about 102.5 "Wake up Botan" he said as he shook her again.

"Nmmmmnnn. Stop it." Botan said hoarsely.

Hiei exited the room for 5 minutes before returning "I called Kurama. He says you have to stay awake"

"I'm tired" she coughed before shutting her eyes again.

"Get up!" he said shaking her "Sit up. You have to stay awake"

Tears began to roll down Botan's face again "I don't want to. I want to sleep."

Hiei slipped his arms under her and forced her to sit up.

"Hiei I don't feel well" she stated again, although it was fairly obvious she didn't feel well.

"I know."

"No,...I'm gonna be sick" Botan said allowing her head to fall back against the frame.

"Uh,..uh..." Hiei said glancing around. He quickly found an old mop bucket in the bathroom closet and thrust it into her arms just before Botan repainted it with vomit.

"Oh that's really not very good." Kurama said walking towards Botan. "Have you taken her temperature lately?" he asked Hiei. To this Hiei shook his head no.

Kurama listened to Botan retch and gag into the bucket. She didn't really have anything to throw up into the bucket. He retrieved his ear thermometer and took her temperature as she continued to heave. "103..." he said biting his lower lip. "This is where it gets dangerous for the baby. Keep her awake." Kurama said as he exited the room.

Hiei really had no task to perform, she was awake by default because she was throwing up. When she finally stopped again wiped her mouth with a tissue. Botan coughed into the tissue for what seemed like forever before she pulled it away covered in blood.

Kurama emerged from the bathroom with handfuls of frigidly cold washcloths. He laid them everywhere there lay exposed flesh. Soon Botan's arms legs and face were covered with them. "How does that feel?" Kurama asked her.

"It,...feels nice actually" Botan said settling her head into the pillows.

"I'm going to listen to your heart and lungs okay?" Kurama said positioning the stethoscope into his ears. He grazed it over her lungs and frowned. "I think she has pneumonia" Kurama said observing the bloody tissue as well.

"How do we fix it?" Botan asked sniffling.

"I really,..don't know enough about this subject. I know there has to be some kind of medication we can give you, even if it has to be a natural herbal remedy. I need to consult my books." Kurama paused "In the meantime don't get out of this bed. Keep the washcloths on as cold as you can get them until she's at least down to 100 again. Drink your fluids. I'll return" Kurama said gathering his things.

"Will the baby be alright?" Botan asked.

"I'm sure it will." Kurama smiled before closing the door behind him.

"Hiei I was supposed to find out the sex of the baby this week. What if I can't now because I'm too sick?" she asked coughing lightly.

"That is the last thing you should worry about." Hiei growled.

"Be nice" Botan sniffled. "I was just really excited okay? I really wanted to see her."

"Her?" Hiei cocked his head.

"Well,..I think it's a girl." Botan looked away.

"If it is my seed, it will be a powerful male." Hiei crossed his arms. Ha. Another pathetic little girl around here. That is just what he needed.

"Do you think,...Yusuke and Kuwabara are disappointed in me..." Botan asked finally. It had been on her mind ever since they had left, well ever since Hiei had forced them out.

"Who cares." Hiei said taking his rightful place on the other side of the bed. For once Botan didn't try to inch closer to him, but that was probably all the washcloths..

"I just,...I didn't want them to find out this way. I don't want them to think I didn't want to tell them. I did want to I just,...didn't know how." Botan sighed.

"Yusuke and Kuwabara are simple. They don't care" Hiei scoffed.

"I guess that's true." Botan admitted. She looked over to Hiei, who's eyes were glued to the ceiling. "Were you afraid that I would die?" she asked

"Hn,...no" Hiei said.

"Well,...I'm sorry this is proving to be such a complicated thing. Hiei,...what should we name her..."

"Him. What should we name him." Hiei corrected.

"Arguments aside,...a name for each gender." Botan began to think

"There is no need. Just a boy" Hiei stated connecting his eyes with hers.

Botan rolled her eyes. Sometimes that argumentative nature of his could be so sexy, so stubbornly sexy. Whether Hiei admitted to it or not, he was falling for it and she could tell.

Hiei remained trapped in her eyes, trapped in this room as he had been for the past few months. He hated that he spent every day here with her,...but he loved that he spent every day here with her.

**Authors note: Made this chapter longer as per a reviewers request! Enjoy :]**


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